There are guys in the world who are training their spittle for contests. While digging through the internet, I found one guy who won a contest after spitting 35 watermelon seeds into a paper cup in just five minutes. Also, I’ve found tutorials for people who wants to improve their speed and accuracy on doing this obnoxious thing.

If your habit is to spit every three minutes… what will you do while driving? Watch out, it has already been invented: No Spill Spit Cup.

Price: $14,40.

I had moments in my career when I wanted to have a magic wand to close my boss’s mouth. Tell me! Would you literally ever kiss your boss’s ass for a promotion?! I never did such a thing.

When anger goes out of control, I suggest you to buy the Sound Accel Pedal. Step the pedal and you’ll feel like Michael Schumacher at Maranello. Imagine you’re driving and your boss is just crossing the street. Three levels of engine humming (loud, louder and loudest) will surround you depending on how you step the pedal.

The gadget is battery-powered and it costs $30. Ah, the device was invented by a Japanese guy stressed out by his boss.

And the manufacturers though about users’ safety: the seat is made from 1 5/16in. diameter steel tube, supports up to 500 lbs. and is even covered with soft, padded camo… to blend in better with the environment, see.

$40 brings all the comfort of home while outdoors… But if you’re too posh to *ahem* be natural even in the middle of nature, you could stay home for free.

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These are only presented as a “how not to”, ok?

You can start off with a completely empty living room and fill it up with car furniture in a flash. All you need is a credit card with a lot of money on it and a total lack of taste.

Cadillac sofa (in 4 colors, no less), motorcycle chair, Chevrolet bar and van bar, what more could you want? Aside from something not horrifically ugly, that is.

And we’re not even at the best part yet: the prices. These beauties start around £1200 and go up to almost £1500.

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Fiddling with a remote while driving isn’t a bright idea, but when stuck in the city traffic everyone’s got plenty of time… enough to operate “The Hand” R/C Window Sign, at least. The gadget uses electroluminescent technology combined with animation, controlled by a visor-clipped remote, and can display 7 different gestures.

Although most of them have positive messages (“I love you”, “Hang Loose”, “Peace”), who wants to bet the others will get much more usage? “Loser” or the all time-favorite middle finger are much more appropriate when dealing with those drivers who think rules are something that only happens to to other people.

Or at least that’s what you must think in order to put a big fish on your car.

The Animated Hitch Covers come in three models: bass, deer and dog, each with its own animation. The fish wags its tail and flashes its eyes, the dog shakes its body and lights its collar, while the deer raises its front legs and a target on its chest lights up.

They are 11″ tall and fit on standard 2″ ball hitches, and you can get each for $24.95.

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It looks like a GPS… but it’s definitely not one. It’s probably the most useless piece of car gadgetry ever released… but it’s also funny. Until you throw it out the window, that is.

The Sat Nag is like a Sat Nav, just that it doesn’t give any useful information; its “map” features streets such as Whiny Lane, Backseat Drive and Earache Avenue. Its main feature is a patronising woman voice that gives “helpful” instructions to the drivers. Among the sentences it can say are: “I know you’re a man, but it’s been 35 minutes now, so can you please admit you’re lost and ask someone the way”; “In 100 metres turn left. No right, err, no left. Sorry, I never can tell my left from my right”; “In 50 meters I’m going to put on my most annoying voice and say ‘Is your short cut really faster when we get stuck in traffic like this, well, is it darling?” and “In 100 meters I’m going to talk to you in that special voice, which should let you know you’ve upset me in some way that is bound to be your fault”.

A perfect gift from a wife to her husband. He surely misses her advice during those long drives.

The Silly Helmet Covers will certainly make people stare at you. And why wouldn’t they, when you ride past with a spiky helmet that looks right out of Conan the Barbarian? (You might not be Arnold material, though.)

You can see the covers and decide which works best on your helmet on the Silly Helmet Covers website and buy them from eBay for $36 a piece.

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However, the Drivermocion probably has the most complex offer on the market, with 6 different devices each with 4-5 messages, ranging from the polite to the downright rude, with the mandatory emoticons included. You can get the Original (“thanks”, “sorry” and three smileys), Animating (five animated emotes), Middle finger (three smileys and the middle finger), Pure faces (five smileys), China’s heart (heart-shaped, five smileys) and Glamour girl (pink fur around the device, “back off”, “thanks”, “sorry” and two smileys).

Useful or not? I’d say no, but it’s up to each driver to decide. I’d say that £19.99 (about $40) is quite a lot for what is basically a car toy.

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Luckily someone thought about those techy drivers and invented the Driving LED Emoticon. It’s basically a LED sign you can attach to your rear window (via the suction cup included) and can control wirelessly. It can display 5 messages: 2 faces (smiley/frown) and 3 texts (“Thanks”, “Back Off” and “Idiot”). The nasty messages outnumber the nice ones, but… let’s admit it, most people only feel like comunicating with their fellow drivers when they’re pissed off.

Buy for $29.99 from ThinkGeek